In part 2 of my blog entitled Elements of Happiness I addressed the question, How do we achieve the sought after condition of happiness? For context, you may wish to read the first two blogs before proceeding.
In this final blog of the series entitled Elements of Happiness I will address a very important question: Once achieved, how do we make happiness last?
All of us experience moments that we casually describe as happiness. We have all heard things like this or that day was the happiest day of my life or I felt so happy when this or that happened. Our experience of happiness, even those of us who feel we are fundamentally happy, is often transient. We are happy based primarily on what is happening around us. Clearly, if our sense of happiness is based primarily on what is happening in our external environment, then our happiness will be very tenuous.
Consider for a moment that what we typically describe as happiness - transient feelings of elation - is merely the outer surface of happiness, feelings based on our conditional responses to various external stimulus. True happiness, happiness anchored to our inner condition, not to external conditions, transcends feeling and is better described as a state of being.
Feeling good is a great and wondrous thing, but this is not happiness in its essence. Many things make us feel good: sex, drugs, music, laughter, a massage, and so on. What happens to our state of being when the music stops playing or the massage ends? Do we suddenly become preoccupied with completing this or that task or find that our inner dialogue is jumbled, mixed with pessimism, harsh judgments of others or ourselves or feelings of insufficiency (she doesn't look good, I am too fat,I need more money). If this often happens to us, it doesn't mean that we are necessarily unhappy, but is does indicate that we have not yet attain a state of being where quietude and solace pervades our inner reality.
Most of us chase emotional highs as though we are happiness addicts. We need not judge ourselves harshly for behaving like this. It is to be expected. Everyone wants to feel good. Like children, we chase after what we perceive will be fun and exciting. This is very normal behavior; however, if we desire to mature spiritually, to become immersed in happiness, we have to consciously end this chase, and, through daily meditation that helps to heighten our awareness of life's spiritual basis, attain what I describe in The Middle Theory as a balanced state of awareness.
Earlier I mentioned that true happiness is beyond feeling and is better described as a state of being; that state of being is one of balanced awareness.
Daily Meditation....if you were reading carefully, this phrase would have jumped out at you. Yes, daily meditation is a key element of the "immersion" process. Daily meditation can take many different forms: prayer, quiet sitting, deep reflection, reading of sacred writings, and so on. What is most essential is that we create a space for meditation every single day, as though it were the only pool of water in a vast dessert that we must dip from everyday. During our daily meditation, if we are truly detached from the world around us, we become more aware of our vast and glorious inner reality that transcends feelings. In moments of deep meditation, our hearts expand, our minds become illumined, and we "touch" the very ground of being that created and sustains all life. Isn't this a miraculous thing!
So daily meditation is key to sustaining our condition of happiness; without it, we will be emotionally tossed around on the surface of life like an unanchored boat.
Another important element of our full immersion into happiness is constant gratitude. By being thankful for everything in our lives, even for our difficulties, we expand our awareness of life's essential goodness. Try this, the next time something happens that would normally make you react in anger or frustration, stop and smile on the inside and allow the experience to wash over you as though you were a pebble at the bottom of a bustling stream. Don't pretend that you do not feel angry in that instant, simply notice that you feel angry and allow that feeling to be absorbed by the deepness of your presence. If you practice this, you will soon notice that there is a part of you that transcends everything around you, and that your being is eternal in nature.
The final element of sustaining a condition of happiness is service. By service I mean conscious and consistent use of our energy to help others progress materially and spiritually. Service in not an act, it is an attitude based in humility that motivates us to become hands feeding the needy or arms embracing the hurt. To serve is to literally become an instrument of peace. When we attain an attitude of service, the simple act of breathing will bring us immense joy, for we will know that the air that fills our lungs is filling it for the purpose of aiding our service to humanity.
In this third and final blog of the series Elements of Happiness, we have explored three key elements of sustaining our condition of happiness, namely:
1. Daily meditation
2. Constant gratitude
3. Service
I trust that you have found the three blogs in this series enlightening and useful. Very soon, I will begin a new series of blogs centered on the concept of balance....I hope you will join me once again.
Deshon
Friday, May 14, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
The Elements of Happiness - Part 2
Dear Friends,
Thank you for being here.
I began this blog a few weeks ago to share insights from my new book, The Middle Theory. In my first blog I asked three questions:
1. What is happiness?
2. How do we achieve this sought after condition?
3. Once achieved, how do we make it last?
I think you would agree that these are three very important questions. In my first blog, I answered the first question. If you haven't read that blog as yet, please consider reading it before you proceed. Thank you.
So, let's have the question again...
How do we achieve this sought after condition? How can we be (not feel) happy?
Let's first agree on what is not happiness. Happiness is not simply a feeling. Happiness is not being successful. Happiness is not having a lot of money in the bank. Happiness is not being physically healthy. Happiness is not having a lot of really great friends....happiness is not anything outside of you.
Now I know many of you have heard this before. Perhaps you are a little suspicious of this idea. It is very important that we know what happiness is not, because if we do not we will continue to chase after happiness as though it is playing hind-and-seek with us.
Happiness is, as described in The Middle Theory, attaining a condition of balanced awareness.
What is balanced awareness? It is a heightened state of awareness that allows us to love fully, ourselves, others and the very "isness" of each moment. So let's rephrase the earlier question:
How do we attain a balanced state of awareness?
Aha, that's the question! Accept for a moment that there is such a thing as a "balanced state awareness". Perhaps you have had moments in your life when you felt completely at peace with reality, where your entire being seemed to be in sync with the flow of life's currents--its events, its unpredictable happenings. Imagine that this harmonious moment is your continuous experience of life. Imagine that! Now you understand what it feels like to attain a balanced state of awareness. But remember, this state is beyond feeling....it is beyond anything that we can see or touch; it is your essence.
To attain a balanced state of awareness requires different things depending on where we are at in our spiritual journey. Ultimately, however, we pass through the same "lands". Here they are:
1. The land of doubt
2. The land of search
3. The land of sacrifice
4. The land of service
5. The land of true understanding
6. The land of acceptance
7. The land of certitude
8. The land of love.
Note that the "land" of love is number 8, the last land - the ultimate place to be. Given this, a simple answer to the original question is this: be love. Decide right now - don't delay for a second - to be love. Start by knowing that you are an unfathomable creation of an All-loving Creator. Know that no matter what your troubles are, you are loved by your Creator. Know and love this very moment. It is what it is. You are here, thinking, reading, questioning, examining....loving. Be love! Be love everyday, as much as you can. When you notice that you are not being love, stop whatever you are doing. Sit for a while. Pray or meditate. Take a deep breath. Just stop doing and consciously decide to bring whatever you are doing into alignment with your desired condition of "being love." If we make a serious commitment to be love in every moment, gradually, as we pray and meditate daily to deepen our awareness of our own thoughts and motives, our actions (our doings) will manifest our condition of being - we will be loving to ourselves and to others spontaneously and with ease.
So, that's it. To be happy, we have to be and manifest love. Haven't we heard this before? It's amazing how we often overlook simple wisdom when we are in the land of search.
I will end by saying that I love you. I love that you are here existing with me. We are brothers and sisters of conscious existence.
Look out for my next blog....I will answer the third and final question:
Once achieved, how do we make it last?
Yes, we do not arrive when we achieve a balanced state of awareness. As blissful as this state is, we can, if we do not constantly bring our doing into alignment with the "beingness" of love, fall from grace, so to speak. Knowing how to remain in a state of balanced awareness is very important.
Be love.
Deshon
Thank you for being here.
I began this blog a few weeks ago to share insights from my new book, The Middle Theory. In my first blog I asked three questions:
1. What is happiness?
2. How do we achieve this sought after condition?
3. Once achieved, how do we make it last?
I think you would agree that these are three very important questions. In my first blog, I answered the first question. If you haven't read that blog as yet, please consider reading it before you proceed. Thank you.
So, let's have the question again...
How do we achieve this sought after condition? How can we be (not feel) happy?
Let's first agree on what is not happiness. Happiness is not simply a feeling. Happiness is not being successful. Happiness is not having a lot of money in the bank. Happiness is not being physically healthy. Happiness is not having a lot of really great friends....happiness is not anything outside of you.
Now I know many of you have heard this before. Perhaps you are a little suspicious of this idea. It is very important that we know what happiness is not, because if we do not we will continue to chase after happiness as though it is playing hind-and-seek with us.
Happiness is, as described in The Middle Theory, attaining a condition of balanced awareness.
What is balanced awareness? It is a heightened state of awareness that allows us to love fully, ourselves, others and the very "isness" of each moment. So let's rephrase the earlier question:
How do we attain a balanced state of awareness?
Aha, that's the question! Accept for a moment that there is such a thing as a "balanced state awareness". Perhaps you have had moments in your life when you felt completely at peace with reality, where your entire being seemed to be in sync with the flow of life's currents--its events, its unpredictable happenings. Imagine that this harmonious moment is your continuous experience of life. Imagine that! Now you understand what it feels like to attain a balanced state of awareness. But remember, this state is beyond feeling....it is beyond anything that we can see or touch; it is your essence.
To attain a balanced state of awareness requires different things depending on where we are at in our spiritual journey. Ultimately, however, we pass through the same "lands". Here they are:
1. The land of doubt
2. The land of search
3. The land of sacrifice
4. The land of service
5. The land of true understanding
6. The land of acceptance
7. The land of certitude
8. The land of love.
Note that the "land" of love is number 8, the last land - the ultimate place to be. Given this, a simple answer to the original question is this: be love. Decide right now - don't delay for a second - to be love. Start by knowing that you are an unfathomable creation of an All-loving Creator. Know that no matter what your troubles are, you are loved by your Creator. Know and love this very moment. It is what it is. You are here, thinking, reading, questioning, examining....loving. Be love! Be love everyday, as much as you can. When you notice that you are not being love, stop whatever you are doing. Sit for a while. Pray or meditate. Take a deep breath. Just stop doing and consciously decide to bring whatever you are doing into alignment with your desired condition of "being love." If we make a serious commitment to be love in every moment, gradually, as we pray and meditate daily to deepen our awareness of our own thoughts and motives, our actions (our doings) will manifest our condition of being - we will be loving to ourselves and to others spontaneously and with ease.
So, that's it. To be happy, we have to be and manifest love. Haven't we heard this before? It's amazing how we often overlook simple wisdom when we are in the land of search.
I will end by saying that I love you. I love that you are here existing with me. We are brothers and sisters of conscious existence.
Look out for my next blog....I will answer the third and final question:
Once achieved, how do we make it last?
Yes, we do not arrive when we achieve a balanced state of awareness. As blissful as this state is, we can, if we do not constantly bring our doing into alignment with the "beingness" of love, fall from grace, so to speak. Knowing how to remain in a state of balanced awareness is very important.
Be love.
Deshon
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Elements of Happiness
Hello!
I've finally given in to my urge to blog! I am glad you have joined me. This will be a wonderful and fun experience. We will learn new things about what's most important: love, family, friendship, happiness, peace (both inner and outer), God, hope and much more. Our blueprint will be The Middle Theory, my first published work. Writing this book changed my life; indeed, it may be truer that I wrote The Middle Theory because I was changed in an instant 10 years ago when I had an incredible spiritual experience - the kind of experience that you read about, but never imagine will happen to you.
And so we are here together....thank you. Thank you too to those who have read The Middle Theory or are reading it now. No doubt your awareness has expanded and your vision of reality - a reality that always holds the potential for balance - is clearer. The e-mails I am receiving from around the world never fail to buoy my spirits.
So let us begin.....
What is happiness?
How do we achieve this sought-after condition?
Once achieved, how do we make it last?
These are arguably the three most important questions we can ever ask. Some would argue that they are also the three most difficult questions to answer. What if we really knew the answers to these questions? How might our lives change? The Middle Theory provides a simple answer to the first question:
It is possible that you have never thought of happiness as a reward. It is also very likely that you have never before connected happiness with the utilization of the force of love. Love, a force? OK, let's take a closer look at this piece of wisdom. What is really being said?
Happiness, as we all know, is a condition of being. When we are truly happy, we not only feel happy, but we are happy. Feelings are as fickle as the wind. One stubbed toe can cause us to go from feeling swell to feeling angry or frustrated in an instant. When we are happy our being - our motivations, perceptions, emotions....our awareness - achieves a condition of balance. We may not feel happy in every instant, but as long as our outlook is positive and our aspirations motivate us to be consistently honest, caring, and compassionate, we will be happy.
Feeling happy is not the same as being happy, as I just illustrated; however, when we are happy, we usually feel happy happy as well.
If you don't feel happy at this moment - perhaps you haven't felt truly happy in a while - ask yourself, how am I being at this very moment? Am I utilizing the force of my being (my thoughts and actions) to nurture peace within myself and around me? Are my thoughts positive and uplifting? What about my actions? Are they loving, gentle, and sincere? In answering these questions, we can increase our awareness of our state of being and thereby gain insight into the cause of our feeling of unhappiness. Remember, you are never unhappy because of what you are doing, but because of who you are being. When we understand this universal truth, we can advance towards deeper states of balanced awareness; in the process we "receive" the reward of happiness.
A quick note about the use of the word reward in the earlier quote from The Middle Theory. Generally speaking, a reward is something given or received in return for a service rendered. This definition has application here. From now on, think of happiness as the gift life freely gives us when we consistently use the energy of our beings to manifest the attributes of love - patience, humility, inner balance, harmony, fairness, and so on- within ourselves and within the world around us. There can truly be no more precious gift than this.
I will continue in my next blog to answer the second question posed earlier. My third blog will be an answer to the third question.
Again, thank you for joining me on this journey of awakening.....
Deshon
I've finally given in to my urge to blog! I am glad you have joined me. This will be a wonderful and fun experience. We will learn new things about what's most important: love, family, friendship, happiness, peace (both inner and outer), God, hope and much more. Our blueprint will be The Middle Theory, my first published work. Writing this book changed my life; indeed, it may be truer that I wrote The Middle Theory because I was changed in an instant 10 years ago when I had an incredible spiritual experience - the kind of experience that you read about, but never imagine will happen to you.
And so we are here together....thank you. Thank you too to those who have read The Middle Theory or are reading it now. No doubt your awareness has expanded and your vision of reality - a reality that always holds the potential for balance - is clearer. The e-mails I am receiving from around the world never fail to buoy my spirits.
So let us begin.....
What is happiness?
How do we achieve this sought-after condition?
Once achieved, how do we make it last?
These are arguably the three most important questions we can ever ask. Some would argue that they are also the three most difficult questions to answer. What if we really knew the answers to these questions? How might our lives change? The Middle Theory provides a simple answer to the first question:
Happiness is the reward for utilizing the force of love to create peace; there can be no greater reward.
It is possible that you have never thought of happiness as a reward. It is also very likely that you have never before connected happiness with the utilization of the force of love. Love, a force? OK, let's take a closer look at this piece of wisdom. What is really being said?
Happiness, as we all know, is a condition of being. When we are truly happy, we not only feel happy, but we are happy. Feelings are as fickle as the wind. One stubbed toe can cause us to go from feeling swell to feeling angry or frustrated in an instant. When we are happy our being - our motivations, perceptions, emotions....our awareness - achieves a condition of balance. We may not feel happy in every instant, but as long as our outlook is positive and our aspirations motivate us to be consistently honest, caring, and compassionate, we will be happy.
Feeling happy is not the same as being happy, as I just illustrated; however, when we are happy, we usually feel happy happy as well.
If you don't feel happy at this moment - perhaps you haven't felt truly happy in a while - ask yourself, how am I being at this very moment? Am I utilizing the force of my being (my thoughts and actions) to nurture peace within myself and around me? Are my thoughts positive and uplifting? What about my actions? Are they loving, gentle, and sincere? In answering these questions, we can increase our awareness of our state of being and thereby gain insight into the cause of our feeling of unhappiness. Remember, you are never unhappy because of what you are doing, but because of who you are being. When we understand this universal truth, we can advance towards deeper states of balanced awareness; in the process we "receive" the reward of happiness.
A quick note about the use of the word reward in the earlier quote from The Middle Theory. Generally speaking, a reward is something given or received in return for a service rendered. This definition has application here. From now on, think of happiness as the gift life freely gives us when we consistently use the energy of our beings to manifest the attributes of love - patience, humility, inner balance, harmony, fairness, and so on- within ourselves and within the world around us. There can truly be no more precious gift than this.
I will continue in my next blog to answer the second question posed earlier. My third blog will be an answer to the third question.
Again, thank you for joining me on this journey of awakening.....
Deshon
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