What is Racism?

Racially insensitive statements made by Donald Sterling, owner of the LA Clippers basketball team, have, for the time being, captured the attention of pundits and talking heads throughout the United States. There is broad agreement that his comments are outrageous, unacceptable, disgusting, and, you get the point. We agree.

But what about those statements made by Sterling? What exactly did he say that was racist? What is racism anyway? For some persons, the topic of racism is uncomfortable as it brings to mind troubling, historic facts about the mistreatment of slaves at the hands of their oppressors. Some have experienced racism first-hand and know the peculiar feel and taste of being caught in a cloud of racist energy. And then there are those who approach the discussion of racism from a purely academic standpoint, as if it were no more than a definition to be memorized. Racism means different things to different people.

In The Middle Theory, a small section of Chapter Seven ("The Age of Balance") discusses the topic of racism. Interestingly enough, what many of us understand as "racism" is a relatively modern phenomenon. In his book Images of Race, M. Biddis points out that "before the 1800s race was used generally as a rough synonym for lineage. But over the first half of the 19th Century race (and its equivalence in a number of European languages) assumed an additional sense that seemed initially tighter and more scientific". He goes on to say that this new usage "...was evident, at its simplest, in the growing conviction that there was a finite number of basic human types, each embodying a package of fixed physical and mental traits whose permanence could only be eroded by mixture with other stocks". Essentially then, as written in The Middle Theory, "modern racism is propagated, sustained, and institutionalized by an irrational fear about the contamination of a supposedly pure, superior race."

OK, so we are now all accomplished race historians. What does any of this have to do with life today? Plenty. Today, in more "enlightened" societies the world over, democratically elected governments are guided by Constitutions that proclaim the fundamental equality of all human beings. In polite conversation, intelligent people know better than to say anything disparaging about someone of another race. And yet today, more than ever, we are aware of the ongoing economic and social disparities that have for centuries been undergirded by divisive racial attitudes that remain prevalent today in virtually every society on earth. Our simplistic color-coding system of "black", "white," and "brown" is losing meaning as more and more persons of diverse ethnic heritage assert their ethnically diverse identity. We would do well to realize that our entire conception of race as it stands is outdated and must change; race as it is currently defined is itself racist (i.e. divisive).

Isn't it interesting, for example, that a white woman can have either a black child or a white child depending on the race of the father. But a black woman can only have a black child. How can it be right and just for there to be only one version of whiteness (pure white) and a gazillion versions of blackness? It is evident that race based primarily on skin color is an over simplified description that does not say anything of substance about a person. It is time to consider an entirely new language for describing the ethnic identity of a human being. All of us are first and foremost a part of the same human race. Further descriptions of value may point to our culture, the land of our birth and rearing or to qualities of our character (e.g. " she's an honest woman with piercing eyes" or "he's a kind man with bright eyes"). As we evolve socially and spiritually, it will become more apparent that racist perceptions, if they are to be rooted out of our subconscious mind, must be viewed as an ingrained societal misconception, and not just as absurd perceptions held by the few who are caught red-handed so to speak.

Donald Sterling did not suddenly become racist when he was caught saying hurtful things about black people. His mindset was molded by his environment over many years. All of us living in modern societies have been shaped, to some degree, by pervasive subliminal messages that color-codes human beings into stereo-typical ethnic boxes.

Racism is fundamentally a negation of our spiritual oneness. In the coming Age of Balance, as envisioned in The Middle Theory, "we will no longer be defined by race based on skin color, but by the colorless, odorless, and formless spiritual qualities inherent within every human being. We will finally realize that human beings of all complexions are members of one human race. Racism in all its ugly forms will end.

How to End Stress (really!)

Do you feel stressed out? Maybe you feel OK now, but you know the stress is coming. Something will go wrong. The kids will make you upset. Your boss will find a way to agitate you. You will see something on the news that will convince you the world is a hopeless mess....something will happen to ruin your temporary peace. Or maybe it's worse. You haven't felt peace - even for a few minutes - in days, perhaps months.

You may even believe that stress is a necessary part of life. Isn't everyone stressed out about something? I mean, isn't life inherently stressful? Isn't stress, on some level, a good thing if you are engaged in a meaningful pursuit? The stressed out mother is doing the best she can. Surely, there is good in that kind of stress. The stressed out teacher is trying every trick in the book to get through to her students. This kind of stress has value, right? Wrong.

All stress is a sign of internal imbalance and paralyzing fear. These conditions are harmful to our health and our mental clarity. Life is indeed inherently challenging. You don't get past your first few baby steps without some form of challenge. That's true for everyone - the millionaire as well as the pauper. Challenge is an inescapable (and necessary) part of life, but not stress. Think of it like this: the gifted athlete who is training for the Olympics is faced with challenges each day he practices. He has the challenge of completing difficult drills over and over again. He works his butt off in order to be the best.

Challenges, viewed correctly, are needed to help us be better - to help us grow. When we face a challenge with the right attitude, we are forced to become bigger, stronger, faster...some grander version of ourselves in order to overcome the challenge. This has immense benefits to our physical and spiritual health. Stress is different. Stress is not about becoming better to overcome a challenge. Stress is - plain and simple - a manufactured internal reaction that is steeped in fear. Stress does not move us forward, but literally paralyzes our reactions and causes a harmful shift in the body's chemical make-up. Stress is deadly, perhaps the deadliest thing around. Stress should be avoided at all cost. It has no value. Zero.

So how do we get rid of stress? Firstly, let's make sure we realize that no-one or no thing can stress us out. We manufacture our own stress. Remember that. You have the copyright and patent to your stress. No-one other than you can create your stress. Aha!....therein lies the answer. If we manufacture our own stress (believe me, we do) then we can do away with it altogether. Yes! It is possible. Here are some tips to help you live a stress-free life.

1. Never again blame anything that happens outside of you for your stress. Take full responsibility for your internal state. If you are stressed out, realize that you are manufacturing the stress based on your perceptions. Stress is never imposed from without; it always arises from within.

2. Begin a meditative practice right away. Many of us living in the West are afraid of meditation. We think it's some strange Eastern practice that only monks do. If you think like this, wake up! Meditation is nothing more than quieting the mind for a period. This has well documented, proven beneficial effects (not the least of which is reducing stress).

3. Become more aware of the moments when you feel stressful and ask yourself: What is causing my stress? And, What is the benefit of me being stressed right now? You will begin to realize (if you do this routinely) that your stress is manufactured by you and that it is not helping you. It is very likely it is making you sick, causing you to have headaches and hijacking your sleep. Remember, your stress has no value.

4. Discover your passion and take action - I know this is not so simple, but believe me when I tell you that persons who are passionate about what they do are able to face many challenges without being paralyzed by stress. Stress is not a sign of being busy, it is a sign of being lost internally. When your internal compass is off, just about anything - any unexpected change, any challenge, any discomfort - causes stress. Becoming balance within is the panacea for stress. Being balanced within certainly does not remove life's challenges - nothing can - but it allows us to face challenges without becoming stressed (i.e. paralyzed with fear).

So there you have it. 4 effective tips for eradicating stress forever. Rather than doubt whether or not it is possible to rid yourself of stress, take action and implement these 4 simple tips. I am certain that in time you will notice that stress is not inescapable. When a few days go by without you feeling any stress, you will know that stress is - and always has been - a self-inflicted condition.

Visit www.themiddletheory.com to download a free stress busting program called "21 Days to Balance"

I have a Question????

Today I wish to pose an intriguing question for you thinkers out there. Let's face it, all of us from time to time are concerned about the chaos we often see on TV or in our own communities. We see people running through the street protesting this or the next. We see bloody children with frightened faces looking towards an horrific scene of violence....we see all these heartwrenching things, and yet we also see so many other scenes of beauty and kindness, peace and cooperation (we see very few of these scenes on TV, but nevertheless we do see them). So here is the question: Do you think there will ever be a time on this planet when the majority (let's say 98%) of human beings will live in peace and relative prosperity (i.e. have their basic needs met)? In your response, please share why you believe this day will come or why you believe it will never happen. I will post the most interesting responses on the revamped website for The Middle Theory that is soon to be realeased worldwide...so let's hear it!

Spiritual v.s. Religious (column by DESHON FOX published in Tribune Newspaper, Nassau Bahamas)

In the Bahamas, we like to think of ourselves as a religious nation. More precisely, we say we are a Christian nation. But are we a spiritual nation? Is there a difference? I believe there is a subtle, but important difference. To be religious implies that we hold to a limited view of spiritual truth - we strive to live according to certain ideals that we believe have been endorsed by God.

We may, for example, always end our prayers in a certain way for fear of not being heard by God if we do not. Similarly, we may always attend a particular church, believing that to attend any other is wrong. To be religious also implies that we have strong beliefs about God, and that we feel our version of religious truth-and the version of those who agree with us- is the only correct version. This is, in my view, detrimental to our spiritual growth and to the progress of a nation.

Spirituality, on the other hand is like swimming in a vast ocean and realising that the same ocean that carries you also holds and supports everyone else. When you are spiritual, you do not feel you have special access to God, or that you have found the absolute truth; you feel alive and blessed by a presence that is loving and generous to all. You feel no need to compete for God's attention; no need to be right. You are free to be who you are, to explore and investigate religious teachings with an unbiased eye. How would our society change if we matured into a spiritual nation? This question is one every Bahamian should ponder.

Our society is, by any reasonable yard stick, in trouble. Our children are killing each other at school, the very place where they should be maturing into thoughtful adults. Our educational system is largely outdated and ineffective. Our politics is petty. We have rightfully lost respect for many of our religious leaders. And yet, amidst this worsening social decay, we still claim to be a religious nation. Very strange! What would help us to move forward as a nation is not more bombastic preaching from pulpits, but a deeper awareness of our common aspirations as human beings and as Bahamians.

This does not require us to abandon our religious ideals; indeed, it requires us to reassess what true religion is and to independently evaluate our religious beliefs. If we did this sincerely, with an open mind and with absolute detachment, we would become more enlightened and would gradually be transformed into more compassionate human beings. Such a global shift in spiritual awareness would fundamentally change our society. A kinder, gentler Bahamas would gradually emerge. Our political discourse would be elevated. Crime would be reduced as we perceive more fully the sacredness of all life. The Bahamas would become an island nation known not only for its physical beauty, but also for the spiritual beauty of its people.

 And so, while we may and should pride ourselves on being a nation of strong religious traditions, let us strive to be more spiritual than religious. Being religious cannot and should not take the place of being spiritual. Our ultimate goal should be to become spiritually enlightened. Religious activities and traditions may, for some, be the vehicle to this enlightenment, but it is only a vehicle, not the destination. As we "travel" towards spiritual enlightenment, we should respect and value the different paths that others may take towards the same goal. We should wholeheartedly embrace even those who hold vastly different religious beliefs than us. With spiritual eyes, we would be able to see their humanity and love them unconditionally.

This love must find expression in our actions. Tolerance becomes divisive when it is the kind of tolerance that breeds pretense. Political rhetoric that sings the praises of compromise and consultation becomes background noise when it is not harmonised by unifying policies and behaviour. Attempts to stem crime become a waste of human resources when humility and kindness are not consistently modeled by parents and teachers. Without true spirituality-an enlightened awareness that allows us to perceive the beauty and sacredness of all life-our efforts to forge a unified and prosperous Bahamas will only have incremental benefits.

 If we want to launch forward, to see monumental changes in our country in the coming years, our religious values must move beyond our heads to our hearts. Our actions, not simply our words, must be aligned with the central teachings of our faiths. If this does not happen, positive change will be slow and painful, and our country will continue to be just a religious nation.

The Middle Theory - Chapter Ten ("Fear")

Even death is not to be feared by the one who has lived well

~The Buddha

Fear is a great valley that separates us from perfect balance. How do we cross over this valley? Better yet, how do we walk through it?

Fear cannot be ignored; it must be transcended. When fear is present, we know it. Our hearts feel it, our pores tighten, our pulse quickens; the muscles tense—fear takes control. But we can be fearless. We can move beyond fear.

When confronted by an angry dog, we are told to remain calm, to move slowly, and to refrain from running away. The dog can sense our fear. It can smell fear in the air. If we turn and run, or if our eyes are fearful, the dog knows we are afraid, and it attacks. Life is similar to the dog. When we are fearful, life knows. People know. If we fear death, death knows. If we fear failure, failure knows. Whatever we fear knows we fear it; and it will eventually attack. Therefore, fear not.

To be fearless is not to be beyond the feeling of fear, but to be beyond the control of fear. The woman that is afraid to speak but speaks anyway is being fearless. The man that is afraid to die but learns to accept death as his greatest comfort is fearless. To look fear in the eye and feel it, and to move past it, is to be fearless. How do we do this? We accept and know. We accept that life is sometimes harsh, that painful things happen, and that sometimes the nights are long. And we know that we are beyond the physical, that we are souls, that life is never lost, it is only experienced. This is how we walk through the valley of fear.

Fear can become our state of being. When this happens, we are not only fearful of a particular thing, say snakes, for example, but we are fearful of life. We are afraid to live, to be. Our lives become so over-run by fear that our every thought is fearful; our movements are fearful—we manifest fear. This is a terrible state to be in. This crippling state prevents us from loving, and it paralyzes our spiritual growth.

Fear controls much of what we do or do not do. For instance, many of us fear feeling unimportant, which drives us to do whatever it takes to move up the importance ladder. For some, importance is achieved through financial success, a large home, or even children. While these things are not bad in and of themselves, the motivation to achieve anything should never be based in fear. Anything done out of fear will not bring lasting fulfillment.

How do we deal with threats to our personal safety? How do we control fear when it’s dark, and we are alone, and someone is at the door trying to break in? Again, we simply accept and know. We accept that someone is at the door, we move to safety if we can, call the police maybe; we do whatever we can to be safe. The fear we feel in such instances is natural and normal, but even in situations where our lives are on the line, we can transcend fear. We react, we try to survive, but fear does not control us. The feeling of fear does not paralyze us, because ultimately, we know that our lives cannot be lost. This clearly is not easy. To be fearless we must overcome our fear of loss, every loss, and this requires deep inner awareness. The most pervasive kind of fear is the fear of loss. We are afraid of dying because we don’t want to lose our lives. We fear being honest because we don’t want to lose favor with others. We fear living life because we don’t want to lose ourselves. We fear exploring different religious teachings because we are afraid of losing our souls. At some level, all fear is based in a concept of loss. We can only exist as fearless human beings after we become acutely aware of the soul’s eternal existence. Until this happens, we will be spiritually hindered by the fear of losing something dear to us.

The soul must be perceived; it cannot be seen with the physical eye, or handled with physical hands. Perhaps that is why it is so easy for us to forget that we are souls and to identify only with the physical. We have to take care of our bodies, wash them regularly, provide them with nourishment several times a day, and do all sorts of other things to them so that we can remain functional. And so, it seems only natural that we would want to protect what we have become so intimate with, indeed, the only “us” we have ever seen. How can we be fearless when all it takes is a simple accident for us to be killed? How are we supposed to release ourselves from the fear of loss when it seems like we can lose everything we love in an instant? Again, to be fearless does not mean we do not feel fear at times. If a loved one dies, there will be pain; the heart will ache. If a robber pulls out a gun, and screams, “Get down or I’ll shoot!” the heart may race, but even in that moment of fright, or during the pain of loss, we can move past fear. It can be done. It is not easy to do, but it can be done. We must accept and know. This is the remedy for all fears.

In this earthly realm, we exist as body, mind, and soul. We are having an experience of who we are based on these three realities. Bullets and knives may not harm the soul, but they can destroy the body. And we use our bodies every day. So, how do we let go of our attachment to the body? How can we simply accept and know? Really, how do we forget that we are physical creatures who bleed if cut, starve if deprived of food, who suffer and eventually die? We do not forget anything. We feel. We see the body: the hands, the feet, the eyes, and the skin. We have a human experience, and then, we choose to move beyond the body. We can, through meditation, prayer, and love, transcend the framework of the body. We can sense our true substance, our souls. We must become quiet, move our thoughts to a place within, and gradually we will see that the valley of fear is a field shrouded in darkness, and though cold and gloomy, it is only a field. We can walk through the field, guided by the light of our being, and we can reach our state of balance, a state where fear no longer controls us. In short, to move past the fears associated with the body, we must have a personal experience of existing beyond the body.

Though it is extremely rare, many outstanding spiritual figures throughout the ages have manifested the fruit of fearlessness. The Fearless Ones share a common path—their lives are an expression of their souls’ desires. They dwell in a spiritual kingdom of love. They represent the Kingdom of God on earth because they manifest the unfathomable love of God. These fearless beings have learned and have sought to teach the rest of humankind that love is a creative energy that helps to mold our reality into a peaceable place. Fear is a creative energy that acts in opposition to love, by “short-circuiting” our ability to trust—ourselves, others, and God.

Do nothing out of fear. Do not marry because you fear being alone; marry because romantic love has lifted you to new heights. Do not fear ignorance, but love and acquire knowledge. Do not fear getting fired; instead, make a living out of doing something you love. Do not fear getting sick; work at being healthy. Have no fear of evil; love righteousness. Do not fear death, but simply love life. Have no fear of anything. Fear and love are powerful forces. The important difference is that love creates what your soul desires passionately, and fear manifests what you are fearful of most. Be mindful of this.

The Middle Theory

Elements of Happiness - Part 3

In part 2 of my blog entitled Elements of Happiness I addressed the question, How do we achieve the sought after condition of happiness? For context, you may wish to read the first two blogs before proceeding.

In this final blog of the series entitled Elements of Happiness I will address a very important question: Once achieved, how do we make happiness last?

All of us experience moments that we casually describe as happiness. We have all heard things like this or that day was the happiest day of my life or I felt so happy when this or that happened. Our experience of happiness, even those of us who feel we are fundamentally happy, is often transient. We are happy based primarily on what is happening around us. Clearly, if our sense of happiness is based primarily on what is happening in our external environment, then our happiness will be very tenuous.

Consider for a moment that what we typically describe as happiness - transient feelings of elation - is merely the outer surface of happiness, feelings based on our conditional responses to various external stimulus. True happiness, happiness anchored to our inner condition, not to external conditions, transcends feeling and is better described as a state of being.

Feeling good is a great and wondrous thing, but this is not happiness in its essence. Many things make us feel good: sex, drugs, music, laughter, a massage, and so on. What happens to our state of being when the music stops playing or the massage ends? Do we suddenly become preoccupied with completing this or that task or find that our inner dialogue is jumbled, mixed with pessimism, harsh judgments of others or ourselves or feelings of insufficiency (she doesn't look good, I am too fat,I need more money). If this often happens to us, it doesn't mean that we are necessarily unhappy, but is does indicate that we have not yet attain a state of being where quietude and solace pervades our inner reality.

Most of us chase emotional highs as though we are happiness addicts. We need not judge ourselves harshly for behaving like this. It is to be expected. Everyone wants to feel good. Like children, we chase after what we perceive will be fun and exciting. This is very normal behavior; however, if we desire to mature spiritually, to become immersed in happiness, we have to consciously end this chase, and, through daily meditation that helps to heighten our awareness of life's spiritual basis, attain what I describe in The Middle Theory as a balanced state of awareness.

Earlier I mentioned that true happiness is beyond feeling and is better described as a state of being; that state of being is one of balanced awareness.

Daily Meditation....if you were reading carefully, this phrase would have jumped out at you. Yes, daily meditation is a key element of the "immersion" process. Daily meditation can take many different forms: prayer, quiet sitting, deep reflection, reading of sacred writings, and so on. What is most essential is that we create a space for meditation every single day, as though it were the only pool of water in a vast dessert that we must dip from everyday. During our daily meditation, if we are truly detached from the world around us, we become more aware of our vast and glorious inner reality that transcends feelings. In moments of deep meditation, our hearts expand, our minds become illumined, and we "touch" the very ground of being that created and sustains all life. Isn't this a miraculous thing!

So daily meditation is key to sustaining our condition of happiness; without it, we will be emotionally tossed around on the surface of life like an unanchored boat.

Another important element of our full immersion into happiness is constant gratitude. By being thankful for everything in our lives, even for our difficulties, we expand our awareness of life's essential goodness. Try this, the next time something happens that would normally make you react in anger or frustration, stop and smile on the inside and allow the experience to wash over you as though you were a pebble at the bottom of a bustling stream. Don't pretend that you do not feel angry in that instant, simply notice that you feel angry and allow that feeling to be absorbed by the deepness of your presence. If you practice this, you will soon notice that there is a part of you that transcends everything around you, and that your being is eternal in nature.

The final element of sustaining a condition of happiness is service. By service I mean conscious and consistent use of our energy to help others progress materially and spiritually. Service in not an act, it is an attitude based in humility that motivates us to become hands feeding the needy or arms embracing the hurt. To serve is to literally become an instrument of peace. When we attain an attitude of service, the simple act of breathing will bring us immense joy, for we will know that the air that fills our lungs is filling it for the purpose of aiding our service to humanity.

In this third and final blog of the series Elements of Happiness, we have explored three key elements of sustaining our condition of happiness, namely:

1. Daily meditation
2. Constant gratitude
3. Service

I trust that you have found the three blogs in this series enlightening and useful. Very soon, I will begin a new series of blogs centered on the concept of balance....I hope you will join me once again.


Deshon

The Elements of Happiness - Part 2

Dear Friends,


Thank you for being here.

I began this blog a few weeks ago to share insights from my new book, The Middle Theory. In my first blog I asked three questions:

1. What is happiness?
2. How do we achieve this sought after condition?
3. Once achieved, how do we make it last?

I think you would agree that these are three very important questions. In my first blog, I answered the first question. If you haven't read that blog as yet, please consider reading it before you proceed. Thank you.

So, let's have the question again...


How do we achieve this sought after condition? How can we be (not feel) happy?

Let's first agree on what is not happiness. Happiness is not simply a feeling. Happiness is not being successful. Happiness is not having a lot of money in the bank. Happiness is not being physically healthy. Happiness is not having a lot of really great friends....happiness is not anything outside of you.

Now I know many of you have heard this before. Perhaps you are a little suspicious of this idea. It is very important that we know what happiness is not, because if we do not we will continue to chase after happiness as though it is playing hind-and-seek with us.

Happiness is, as described in The Middle Theory, attaining a condition of balanced awareness.

What is balanced awareness? It is a heightened state of awareness that allows us to love fully, ourselves, others and the very "isness" of each moment. So let's rephrase the earlier question:

How do we attain a balanced state of awareness?

Aha, that's the question! Accept for a moment that there is such a thing as a "balanced state awareness". Perhaps you have had moments in your life when you felt completely at peace with reality, where your entire being seemed to be in sync with the flow of life's currents--its events, its unpredictable happenings. Imagine that this harmonious moment is your continuous experience of life. Imagine that! Now you understand what it feels like to attain a balanced state of awareness. But remember, this state is beyond feeling....it is beyond anything that we can see or touch; it is your essence.

To attain a balanced state of awareness requires different things depending on where we are at in our spiritual journey. Ultimately, however, we pass through the same "lands". Here they are:

1. The land of doubt
2. The land of search
3. The land of sacrifice
4. The land of service
5. The land of true understanding
6. The land of acceptance
7. The land of certitude
8. The land of love.

Note that the "land" of love is number 8, the last land - the ultimate place to be. Given this, a simple answer to the original question is this: be love. Decide right now - don't delay for a second - to be love. Start by knowing that you are an unfathomable creation of an All-loving Creator. Know that no matter what your troubles are, you are loved by your Creator. Know and love this very moment. It is what it is. You are here, thinking, reading, questioning, examining....loving. Be love! Be love everyday, as much as you can. When you notice that you are not being love, stop whatever you are doing. Sit for a while. Pray or meditate. Take a deep breath. Just stop doing and consciously decide to bring whatever you are doing into alignment with your desired condition of "being love." If we make a serious commitment to be love in every moment, gradually, as we pray and meditate daily to deepen our awareness of our own thoughts and motives, our actions (our doings) will manifest our condition of being - we will be loving to ourselves and to others spontaneously and with ease.

So, that's it. To be happy, we have to be and manifest love. Haven't we heard this before? It's amazing how we often overlook simple wisdom when we are in the land of search.

I will end by saying that I love you. I love that you are here existing with me. We are brothers and sisters of conscious existence.

Look out for my next blog....I will answer the third and final question:

Once achieved, how do we make it last?

Yes, we do not arrive when we achieve a balanced state of awareness. As blissful as this state is, we can, if we do not constantly bring our doing into alignment with the "beingness" of love, fall from grace, so to speak. Knowing how to remain in a state of balanced awareness is very important.

Be love.

Deshon